Taking Back My Life

by Penny Green, 06/11/2020, Traverse City, MI

Adult Category


Since this corona virus hit, I felt like my life has been taken away from me. To be honest I really can’t put all the blame on that. Now that I have fallen into the category of “elderly”, people are trying to protect me from myself. It’s almost like they are afraid to let me live because, I might do something. Heaven forbid, that I would do something crazy or skydive from an airplane, which by the way was an exhilarating adventure.

Times of despair covered me like heavy clouds of a northern Michigan winter, blocking out the rays of joy in my life. I felt like I was suffocating. The most discouraging blow was the feeling that I could endanger loved ones, or total strangers, just by getting too close and saying “God Bless You” even if they had not sneezed.

The most devastating blow however, was the thought that I could die, not that I really “feared” death. But the thought that never again, would I get to kiss the chubby cheeks of my great grandchildren, to cheer on my grandchildren as they grew in the love of Jesus, to watch my granddaughter kiss the love of her life on her wedding day, or even to experience having more adventures with my husband.

At one of my lowest points Scripture flooded my mind, loud and clear—-“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

My soul was touched a few days later, as I watched “The Chosen” on YouTube. I was expecting it to be like other stories of Jesus, but this was different. Jesus was portrayed as a “real” person, not stiff and unapproachable, but one who loved people at the point of their deepest need. “For God did not send His Son into the world, to condemn, but to Save the world through him” John 3:17

One of the scenes helped me heal an old wound of mine, when it focused on Jesus forgiving a woman who was demon possessed. She saw the love and forgiveness in His eyes and heard clearly, “Woman, you are forgiven.” I felt as if He were lifting my head, as He lifted her head and gently whispered, “You are mine.” I too, longed to hear again, “Your sins are forgiven and You are Mine.”

God used this scene to release the heaviness of my heart and unlock the chains that burdened my soul. I no longer have to fear any virus or crisis from life nor death, for I know God has it covered. “Sometimes God calms the storms and other times He calms the sailor.” is a reminder on a plaque hanging in my room.

So, I will seek His face and live with renewed joy and peace until He calls me Home. I know that God used the virus to cleanse my heart and conquer my fears. Now that is AWESOME! I never thought I would say this, “Thank you God, for the affect this epidemic had on me. Also, I praise You for giving me My Life Back.”